The Promise Keepers movement, which is filling huge sports arenas in the United States with enthusiastic rallies, offers one approach. It aims to help Christian laymen to have a strong and positive self-image, to put God at the center of their lives, to give leadership to the church, and to attend to their families. Its concern for radical reconciliation is also very commendable. Honesty and integrity are lauded, and men are encouraged to find mentors in the practice of the faith. Participants are assured that a "real man can enjoy a deep and meaningful, non-sexual relationship with another man." Band together, men are urged, for prayer, sharing of Scripture, and hearing one another's pain.
Alongside these commendable aspects, the movement has shortcomings that have caused many United Methodist men to take a cautious approach to it.
A careful reading of a basic text of the movement, Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper (Focus on the Family Publishing, 1993), gives cause for concern. Having allegedly become "feminized men" and "sissies" for giving over spiritual or other leadership to women, men are told to "take back" the leadership of the family. "A father is to be the priest of his home." The biblical notion of equality and partnership between men and women ("in Christ there is neither...male nor female") is ignored, and the notion of patriarchal privilege is promoted.
To Promise Keepers, the crisis in families across the nation is primarily caused by "the feminization of the American male"-"a misunderstanding of manhood that has produced a nation of `sissified' men who abdicate their role as spiritually pure leaders, thus forcing women to fill the vacuum." This suggests the oppressive stereotype that women are weak and that the worst thing a man can be is "weak" like a woman.
The movement ignores some of the most serious ways in which men have violated their promises and transgressed upon their responsibilities: wife abuse, marital rape, incest, or the sexual abuse of children. There is not a single reference to them in the book.
The attitude toward women as clergy is problematic. While on the one hand clergymen are enthusiastically affirmed as "God's treasures," clergywomen are either studiously ignored or informed that they are not welcome at Promise Keepers events, even special ones for clergy.
The United Methodist General Board of Discipleship has wisely decided not to endorse Promise Keepers, pointing out that women are not involved, that leadership is structured around a small group of men, and that leaders may espouse beliefs that are not in keeping with United Methodist theology and practice. Yet there desperately need to be ways for United Methodist men to experience Christian manhood and maleness in the best sense.
Therefore, be it resolved, that the General Conference direct the General Board of Discipleship to develop a United Methodist alternative to Promise Keepers that affirms men in equal partnership with women, and that conveys the depth of understanding of personal and social responsibility characterized by our "Social Principles."
General Conference Webmaster: Susan Brumbaugh
PETS Creator: John Brawn
Petition Text: 22410-DI-NonDis-O
1996 United Methodist General Conference